He’s not breathing! the nurse said. With that the nurse ran out the delivery room door with the newborn baby boy in her arms.
Chase Matthew Nerenberg was born February 14, 2005. Yes, the youngest of our four boys is a Valentine baby. Chase was born fighting. You see, while he was being delivered his lungs filled with embryonic fluid. Not a good way to start life. The doctors explained to his mother and I that Chase was drowning from the fluid that had infiltrated his lungs. He had to fight for every breath. He was essentially struggling for his life.
“What’s the prognosis?” I asked.
We don’t know right now. But there’s is a chance he won’t survive. The doctor replied.
Mom cried and I prepared my heart for the worst. I also tried to prepare Jen for the worst possible outcome.
“I refuse to believe that!” She said as tears flowed.
I was standing in the IICU staring at our youngest son. Wires & tubes connected and inserted in his little body. Praying that God would answer our prayers and allow him to live.
A voice interrupted my thoughts and prayer…
“He’s a fighter!” the nurse said. “I’ve been doing this a long time. Sometimes you can just see the ones with the will to fight. He’s one of them. He’s going to be OK Dad.”
Her words proved true. The Lord answered our prayers, and we eventually took the little guy home.
Hemophilia
While in the hospital Chase was diagnosed with Hemophilia, a bleeding disorder that keeps the blood from clotting properly. Trauma leads to internal bleeding known as “bleeds” to those in the Hemophilia community. Two of our four boys are hemophiliacs, deficient in factor 8. To control & stop a “bleed” an intravenous injection of synthetic factor is given to raise the factor levels in the blood. Imagine being a rough and tumble boy with hemophilia. You definitely learn to not be afraid of needles…
No Excuses!
Fear is a great thief! Our Family has created a family purpose statement. One of the lines in that statement simply reads:
“BE FEARLESS!”
We desire to live WITHOUT: fear to love unconditionally, fear of failure, fear of adventure, fear of change, fear to take risk, fear to truly live life, or even fear of death! Fear can and will come and steal some, or all of this and more from us. If we allow it. It’s easy to say “BE FEARLESS!” Until fear punches you in the face. As parents we had to deal with the fear of raising boys that had hemophilia. It’s the fear that your child will suffer pain. It cries out “You better protect them! Put them in a bubble! They can’t live a normal life!” My wife and I made the conscience decision that Hemophilia was not going to define who our boys would be. That it would never be allowed to be an excuse to live life and it surely would not be an excuse to fail.
Wrestling: Not A Good Start!
The great Dan Gable said, “Once you wrestle everything else in life is easy!” Wrestling is a demanding sport. For a wrestler to reach his full potential he must have an incredible work ethic, discipline, and must be willing to suffer. Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
At 5 years old Chase made the decision that he wanted to wrestle. Probably not the best sport for a kid with hemophilia. But he wanted to try it and we were not going to live in fear! Chase entered the room for his fourth ever practice full of excitement and nervous energy. The previous 3 practices had gone well, and he was having fun. He was having a great time until 20 minutes into the practice a wrestler much larger than him rolled into his leg. Crack! A clean break all the way through. And it wasn’t nice to look at. Chase was going to learn about the suffering part of wrestling must sooner than we had hoped. I told Jenny “That put an end to the wrestling dream in a hurry. He’ll never want to see a wrestling mat again.” We were wrong. He was ready to try again when the next season rolled around. It was the first of many come backs by the kid.
Suffering!
Chase decided at a very young age to choose to suffer to be the best he could be at the sport he loves. Prior to participating in wrestling events Chase had to be injected with synthetic factor to raise the factor levels in his blood and control any internal bleeding that may start. Imagine a 6-year-old kid taking a needle intravenously so he can do what he loves to do. Chase wrestled for 12 years. He never once used Hemophilia as an excuse for not winning or being injured. Few people even knew that he has hemophilia. His school and club coaches all knew. Most of his teammates didn’t know and if they did, they didn’t understand it. None of his opponents knew. No excuses. Choose to suffer and deal with it.
At times over the years, I have overheard comments about Chase that went something like this; “That Nerenberg kid is a pretty good wrestler but he just can’t stay healthy” or “That kid is always hurt!” They had no idea.
“There is always one more fact to every mans situation that you just don’t know about. Be slow to judge another mans plight in life.” OC
These are a few of the injuries we watched Chase battle back from: Two Torn ACL’s, Broken leg, Severe nerve damage to the knee, Multiple shoulder separations, shoulder surgery, torn patella tendon, broken toes, multiple concussions, multiple internal bleeds… The list goes on…
But he ALWAYS FOUGHT his way back!!!
Wrestling: Not A Story Book Ending.
In the summer leading up to his senior year, Oklahoma Wesleyan University made Chase an offer to wrestle for their program. We made a visit to the school and Chase knew immediately that he wanted to wrestle for the coach and be part of the culture on the campus. It was a dream come true for the young man. A lifetime of hard work that culminated with his dream to wrestle in college. It was well earned!
The story doesn’t always end the way we want it to. Chase suffered a career-ending knee injury at the very end of his senior year. But his last match demonstrated everything that we knew to be true about his character:
In an attempt to help his team win a dual match and advance to the GA State Dual Meet, Chase bumped up a weight class to wrestle another good wrestler from the opposing team. It was a hard-fought match with Chase leading 4-0 when the injury happened, A dislocated knee. It was a gruesome, painful injury that is difficult to watch on video. During a match an injured wrestler is allowed injury time. During the injury time Chase was faced with a choice, suck it up and wrestle or not? True to his character, Chase wrestled 3 more minutes, scored two more points and didn’t allow a point to be scored on him to secure the win. After the match I watched my son hobble to the corner of the gym, slump to ground, put his head between his knees and sob. I rushed out of the stands grabbed him and picked him up and hugged him with tears in my eyes.
“It’s bad Dad.” He said.
“I know.” I replied. “I am so proud of you for the toughness and heart you showed today!”
When the next dual started Chase started warming up on one leg. “What are you doing” I asked.
The last match is my weight class. If it comes down to that match, I’m wrestling! Chase replied.
Once again, proving that he was, Born To Fight!
Chase spent 3-days in the hospital after that match. But the greatest pain has come while dealing with the loss of the love of his life, Wrestling. I am in awe of the amount of suffering, [1]chosen and unchosen, this young man has endured without ever making an excuse.
Wrestling was never about wins and losses as the ultimate accomplishment. In our family we’ve always discussed the end game being the character Chase has when he is 30. What kind of Husband, father, employee, employer, friend will you be? Character is the end game. So far, Chase is a champion in that category!
My son has become one of my heroes, not because he’s a decent wrestler but because of the grace and grit he has shown over and over while dealing with adversity. I am proud of the man he is becoming.
[1] Tom Ryan, Chosen Suffering
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